Frequently Asked Questions
How do you see the counselling process?
One human is opening up to another human about their struggle or concern. While doing this, two people are building a trusting and mutually empathic relationship. Gradually, the person opening up is able to share more, and while sharing, learn about their unique way of experiencing themselves, others, and the world. With increased self-awareness come new ways of thinking, feeling, and acting. And new ways of relating to thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations. Over time, clients learn to trust themselves more and have more love and compassion for themselves.
You may be thinking, oh no, I don’t want to be in the spotlight and share my deepest concerns with a stranger. Who wouldn’t feel this way? The good news is that it is my job to keep you as safe and comfortable as possible, and together, we will find a way to explore your concern in a way that honours who you are as a person.
Counselling and psychotherapy do not offer a quick fix. There is no magic wand with a simple solution when it comes to dealing with complex human struggles. While I will sometimes offer suggestions, bring in my own insight, and brainstorm avenues for action with you, I do not see counselling as advice-giving. Imagine I tell you to do something, you do it, and it backfires. Not only will you be upset with me, but your ability to trust yourself will also be undermined.
Most of us know deep down what is going on and what we need to do to face it. The problem is we get so distracted that we lose sight of our inner wisdom. Or, we just don’t have humans around us who feel warm, responsive, and accessible that we can really talk with and process what we are experiencing. Often, we forget how to be authentic and just trust ourselves. I see counselling as an opportunity for humans to authentically face their concern or struggle, and through doing so, learn what works and what doesn’t work in moving towards their own values-based goals.
When clients work hard to face struggles, they begin to access their inner wisdom and become more intentional and “response-able” – i.e., able to pause and respond to each moment of life that comes our way. They also learn about the importance of warm, trusting and mutually empathic relationships (which, by the way, all the research supports as being integral to our health, well-being, and even financial success in life!).
Counselling is also a means of asking the bigger life questions, such as Who am I and How do I want to live my life. How can I live in a society that does not make sense to me? How can I cultivate relationships when I feel like no one listens to me or wants to hear what I am saying?
What kind of specific concerns have you helped people with?
I have experience working with individuals on a wide range of concerns such as:
- Self-worth
- Anxiety and depression
- Shame
- Traumatic experiences
- Grief and loss
- Identity concerns (e.g., related to sexual orientation and/or gender identity, among others)
- Life transitions (e.g., moving to a new city or country, embarking on a new career journey, or entering a new phase of life)
- Cross-cultural issues (e.g., for expats or immigrants)
- Deep existential concerns, such as aging, uncertainty, dread, isolation, and meaning/purpose
How often should I go for therapy?
This is up to you. However, I can say from my experience that clients who come regularly (e.g., once a week or every other week) and do the “work” of therapy (that is, gradually opening up at their own pace about what is most important to them and working towards their goals) are the ones who achieve the deepest degree of movement.
What can I expect in the first session?
The first session is an opportunity for us to get to know each other. My job is to make you feel as safe and comfortable as possible, and give you space to share what is going on. It’s also an opportunity for you to share any information that you think is relevant for our work together. For example, it is often helpful to learn about your past, your relationships, passions, yearnings, etc. It is also helpful for us to arrive at your goals for our work together. That way, we can figure out how best to collaborate as we move toward your goals. I will ask more questions in the first couple of sessions in order to get to know you better and develop an awareness of how best to build our unique therapy for you.
What do you think is most important for successful therapy?
Some of the most important ingredients for a successful counselling experience are:
- Intrinsic motivation from the client (that is, not being pushed by someone else or something else to change, but from within, by you.)
- A strong, warm, mutually empathic connection between therapist and client where anything is speakable
- A willingness to be vulnerable and honest (at your own pace)
- General and specific goals and tasks to work towards (that are connected to the client’s values)
- The client tries hard to do “the work” of therapy on their own, outside of therapy, e.g., by taking action towards their goals/values, and gradually making important changes in their lives. This also often involves a shifting perspective on themselves and their situation; e.g., moving from “I suck, this sucks, and I don’t want to keep feeling shitty all the time” to “This may be challenging and uncomfortable, but I can do this even if I feel uncomfortable; I will probably always have unhelpful thoughts, but I can still believe in myself and keep going on my journey.”
I am shy and I don’t want to be in the spotlight – how can I go for therapy?
First of all, being “shy” or “introverted” is a strength. Of course, our strengths often have challenges associated with them. However, my hope would be that during our work together, you would come to develop a greater appreciation of your “shyness” and realize how you can still act (i.e., do what is important to you) even when you are feeling shy or socially anxious. Therapy is a great opportunity for you to open up gradually and develop confidence in a warm, safe environment, free from judgment or expectations around how to be.
What kind of education and experience do you have?
I have a PhD in Counselling Psychology from the University of British Columbia. I also have two Master’s degrees – one in Special Education and the other in Counselling Psychology. I have over ten years’ experience as a counsellor and, in addition to my private practice, I have worked for organizations such as the Vancouver School Board and Simon Fraser University. I am also a registered teacher (BC) and prior to becoming a counsellor, I worked as a teacher for about 13 years.
Why are you only available online?
Having my practice online has allowed me to reach clients across Canada, some of whom live in remote parts of the country. It has also given the amazing opportunity to spend time living outside of Canada. I have always been dedicated to cross-cultural awareness and growth; and I believe that my various cross-cultural experiences (e.g., living for over a decade in Asia and South America) help me to be a better counsellor!
What are your fees?
One individual session (60 minutes) is CAD $150.